30 Questions to Rebuild Emotional Intimacy

Why This Guide Works: The Science Behind Emotional Reconnection

Relationships don't fail because couples stop loving each other—they struggle because emotional intimacy gets buried under daily stress, unresolved conflicts, and busy schedules. If you and your partner feel more like roommates than romantic partners, you're not alone.

This guide is grounded in proven relationship research from Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Dr. John Gottman's decades of couples research. The questions are strategically designed to help you:

• Understand each other's emotional world instead of making assumptions

• Create safety for vulnerable conversations without triggering defensiveness

• Rediscover what drew you together and what keeps you connected

• Build new patterns of turning toward each other instead of away

What Makes This Different: Unlike generic conversation starters, these questions explore the deeper layers that create lasting intimacy—from childhood influences to future dreams, from money emotions to friendship needs.

FAQ Section:

• How long does this take to complete?

  • Recommended that you take it one section at a time. Do not rush through this! It is meant to form connection; therefore, SLOW down and take your time. It’s not a race - you’re working on a lifetime of love!

• What if these conversations bring up conflict?

  • Take a break. This is normal. This might be entirely new to either one of you, or both of you. Take a break, ask for a pause, and come back to it.

• Can we use this if we're already in couples therapy?

  • YES! Absolutely, yes. This is a great tool to use as a stand-alone, or as an addition to the work you’re already doing.

What You'll Get:

• 30 research-backed intimacy questions

• 8 themed categories for focused exploration

• Conversation safety guidelines

• Tips for creating the right environment

Questions? Reach out! mattracea@serenitytherapyservices.org